Wee Johnny Red Nose Swallowed His Gum

Wee Johnny Red Nose Swallowed His Gum

Wee Johnny red nose swallowed his gum

Which squiggled and sloshed its way down to his tum.

With watery eyes and a rumbly belly

He took the remote and so turned up the telly.

His Sister, asleep, awoke with a frown.

“I’m sleeping! You fool. Now turn that thing down!”

By this time his stomach was six times as large

“You heard what I said Johnny. I am in charge!”

He lifted his body to find the remote

When all of a sudden he belched like a goat.

“Ew” she squealed “Johnny! You are obscene!”

The skin on his face now pale, turning green.

Puffs of blue smoke slowly leaked from his ears.

His watery eyes were now streaming with tears.

“What’s up with you Johnny? You eaten a bug?

A hardback beetle or a slimy grey slug?”

“No!” he growled loudly “It’s something much worse!”

“A rotten tomato? … Not mum’s blue purse?!”

“No! None of those things are nearly as bad.

What’s inside my tum will make mum and dad mad!”

This is worse than the time that I faked being ill

Or drew with black pen on the windowsill.

Worse than hiding my homework at night

Or sneaking up on granny to give her a fright!

I’ll never be able to tell dad or mum

That I was so silly as to... swallow... my gum.”

“Gum! But you could have choked and died!”

“I bet if I had, you wouldn't have cried”

“Don’t be so daft! I love you dearly”

Now follow my instructions and listen very clearly.

We'll need to phone mum and dad for advice

For now drink this water. I’ll not ask you twice.”

She lifted the phone to call up their mum…

“Muuum, Johnny has swallowed his bubble gum!”

“Oh no! Is he choking? His face turning blue?”

“No mum, slightly green with a rumble tum too.”

“Okay love, don’t fret. We’ll be home in a sec

Look after your brother and keep him in check.”

Hiding his head in his hands, feeling sad

He dreaded his punishment for being this bad.

When all of a sudden they heard an odd hiss

A sizzle and pop that they could not dismiss.

The sounds, growing louder, gave the siblings a scare

When out from his trousers and underwear…

Grew a giant pink bubble the size of a pig!

“Why I've never seen a gum bubble quite as big!”

Cried his sister in awe as she gaped at the size

“That thing for sure would win the school science prize!”

And just as he thought all was at its worst

The bubble gum stuck to his mum’s blue purse.

Nooooo! He cried. His face with a frown.

The inflating pink ball tugged him quickly upside-down.

Help! He shrieked, floating high in the air.

The bubble grew so large that it glued to his hair.

His sister stretched up tall. Held his hand to keep him still.

“How on earth did this day go so terribly downhill?”

Swiftly mum and dad drove up and frantically rushed in

Bursting the enormous bubble with a sewing pin

Johnny whizzed around the room from left to right and back

When all the air had gone he dropped as quickly with a smack

Upon the floor in front of them as they all rushed to help

Poor Johnny who was so relieved he let out one great yelp!

“You’re safe now son” said dad as he gave Johnny’s head a rub

“Oh you’re awfully sticky. I think it’s time to fill the tub.”

“I’m sorry dad, I was so silly. I’m really sorry mum.

Never will I ever ever swallow up my gum.

“I’ll wrap it in a piece of paper, making sure to fold

And put it in the bin, when finished, just as I was told.”

“We’re glad that you are safe my love. We know you've had a scare”

Next time when you’re eating gum be sure to take some care.”

©Shay Crinkle Dec 2013